In Victorian Hidden Mother Photography, mothers would be draped and obscured in the background whilst holding their child long enough for the image to be captured. As the mother of a son with schizophrenia, I realised this was like me, and so many others like me. We are hidden away, our presence unknown, doing our best to keep supporting, often without our loved one’s knowledge or will, no matter what. And our loved one’s dependency may never end. It can feel as though we’re frozen in time, never able to relinquish this role.
I am reaching out to other women, to sisters, mothers, partners, daughters. Each one grieving because of a loved one’s addiction and mental illness. Each one coming forward to say ‘That’s my story’. Each one recognising the other’s pain, the cloak of sadness, but the strength of love beneath. No longer on our own. But then, we never were.We’re together in times of dangerously inadequate mental health provision. Very much present, no longer hidden.
The mourning never stops for the person we once had. Our loved ones are missing, and so are we.
The Missing Project has been created to convey our loss, our strength, our love. It’s a space for connection, to raise awareness, and to help bring about change.
We are here, and it is time to become visible.
